The Father's Sandpaper

It's a precious relationship...but why is it so hard...and painful? We keep "missing" each other!  Maybe we don't "get" each other?

I keep trying to respect boundaries and be "circumspect" in what I say and do...and then it comes:  stuff from the past, mistakes in the present...at times, I am responsible...other times, I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Not the sweetness and light I keep hoping for!

Lord, why?  Why is it so hard?  How do I navigate this relationship?

Then comes His still, small voice:

This relationship is Sandpaper in My Hands to shine you up...to get those rough places smooth!

sandpaper

Now how can I argue with that?  Thank you, Lord!

It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects[actually, beats to a pulp!]... At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain.Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. Hebrews 12:7,11 Message

Many of you are going through difficulties of every kind...excruciating, even life threatening health problems, mental and emotional heartache, relational stresses, and the list goes on. We have no idea what the Father is doing in His sovereignty.

But one thing we can count on is that He is shining us up more and more to look like His glorious Son Who indwells us.

So let's embrace Him and our life and believe with all our hearts that nothing is wasted in His almighty, loving Fatherly Hands.

nothing is wasted, jason gray

PLEASE click on this link to view an awesome video of this song: Nothing is wasted -- Jason Gray

The hurt that broke your heart And left you trembling in the dark Feeling lost and alone Will tell you hope's a lie But what if every tear you cry Will seed the ground where joy will grow

And nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

It's from the deepest wounds That beauty finds a place to bloom And you will see before the end That every broken piece is Gathered in the heart of Jesus And what's lost will be found again

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

nothing wasted

You might also like to look at "In Pain...two Things I Know"

The Father's Sandpaper

Tears-150x150-1

It's a precious relationship...but why is it so hard...and painful? We keep "missing" each other!  Maybe we don't "get" each other?

I keep trying to respect boundaries and be "circumspect" in what I say and do...and then it comes:  stuff from the past, mistakes in the present...at times, I am responsible...other times, I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Not the sweetness and light I keep hoping for!

Lord, why?  Why is it so hard?  How do I navigate this relationship?

Then comes His still, small voice:

This relationship is Sandpaper in My Hands to shine you up...to get those rough places smooth!

sandpaper

Now how can I argue with that?  Thank you, Lord!

It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects[actually, beats to a pulp!]... At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain.Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. Hebrews 12:7,11 Message

Many of you are going through difficulties of every kind...excruciating, even life threatening health problems, mental and emotional heartache, relational stresses, and the list goes on. We have no idea what the Father is doing in His sovereignty.

But one thing we can count on is that He is shining us up more and more to look like His glorious Son Who indwells us.

So let's embrace Him and our life and believe with all our hearts that nothing is wasted in His almighty, loving Fatherly Hands.

nothing is wasted, jason gray

PLEASE click on this link to view an awesome video of this song: Nothing is wasted -- Jason Gray

The hurt that broke your heart And left you trembling in the dark Feeling lost and alone Will tell you hope's a lie But what if every tear you cry Will seed the ground where joy will grow

And nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

It's from the deepest wounds That beauty finds a place to bloom And you will see before the end That every broken piece is Gathered in the heart of Jesus And what's lost will be found again

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

Nothing is wasted Nothing is wasted In the hands of our Redeemer Nothing is wasted

From the ruins From the ashes Beauty will rise From the wreckage From the darkness Glory will shine Glory will shine

nothing wasted

You might also like to look at "In Pain...two Things I Know"

"Never more than I can bear"-- Oh, really?

"God never gives us more than we can bear!" For some reason, I've been hearing that a lot lately, have you?

I don't know about you, but in my experience, it has been the opposite! God regularly gives me more than I can bear...and I'll tell you what I think is the reason.

As I now like to say, "I'm a tough nut to crack."  I'm a pretty strong personality! So for a lot of my Christian life, I've believed that it's my strength and know-how and abilities and wisdom, coupled with the blessing and help from Above, that will get the job done...successfully...even in the spiritual realm. I've eaten over and over again from the "Tree of knowledge of Good & Evil" thinking that was God's will and way!

But now I know differently. His way is His strength in my weakness! Not His help in my weakness! HIM doing it and being it!

Tears-300x198

Little by little I have been learning this, not just through Scripture, but through life experience. And the crowning lesson in it all wasn't my own mysterious anaphylactic reactions that lasted years, not the sudden deaths or disabilities of our parents within a 8 month period, not the everyday pressures of mothering, homeschooling, and Bible study teaching. No! It was the cancer of my beloved son and the health crisis of my darling daughter all within months of each other that truly brought me to the end of thinking I had anything to add to life.

When someone marveled at how we made it through, I replied, "The Lord carried us!"

And so little by little over the years, the truth of what I have been seeing in the Word has come to life:

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  Gal 2:20 NLT

It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. He has enabled us to be ministers of his new covenant. This is a covenant not of written laws, but of the Spirit.  2 Cor 3:5-6a NLT

But we have this treasure [the indwelling Christ] in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you.  2 Cor 4:7-12 NASB

But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me—and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace. 1 Cor 15:10 NLT

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.  John 15:5 NLT

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Cor 12:8-10 NLT

My weakness, His strength 2Cor 12

Even the following verse, which comes pretty close to our cliche, still says to me that it's not about my strength with His help.  The "way of escape" is HIM...otherwise I could never endure it:

No temptation [trial, testing] has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted [tried, tested] beyond what you are able, but with the temptation [trial, testing] will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. 1 Cor 10:13 NLT

What about you, dear friend?

Just when you start feeling like you have the parenting thing tied up, has a new phase begun that knocks you for a loop?

After doing all the healthy stuff for your family, even more than what others do for themselves and their kids...Bam! Does a serious diagnosis enter your lives?

Or what about just the everyday stuff -- frustrations, noise, dirty diapers, crying, calling for mama? Pressures from schedules, deadlines? Difficult relationships...irregular people in your life?

Or what about your own human weakness, lacks, frailness, handicaps? Do you continually fall into the trap of thinking you can handle it with some help from God?

Oh really?  How has that been working for you?

O suffering child of God, turn from your own will and your own way and surrender to HIM, your Way of Escape, the One who will carry you through, so that you can endure even the unendurable, the unthinkable:

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.Romans 12:1-2 NLT

trials

You might also like Nothing Wasted: My weakness, HIS Strength

Surprised by the Voice that I long to hear...in the hard

My sheep hear My voice...

This week I'm in New Jersey, caring for my 91 year old mom so that my care-giver sister can get a much needed break.

Mom has a number of health issues that have caused her to slowly, very slowly, deteriorate. Someone has called this period of life that many of us "baby boomers" face as we care for our aged parents, "The long good-bye." And it certainly is...and it's hard...very hard...and for a number of reasons.

First, of course, is the fact that our beloved one is declining and suffering in the process. That's hard to watch.

And my precious Mommy (as we sibs still call her) is developing backwards, so to speak.  She is declining back through the stages of human development, and that's hard! Hard to witness and hard to adjust to, especially relationship-wise.

The child becomes the parent, and the parent becomes the child.

It's also hard because of the physical energy and personal sacrifice involved in the care-giving.

It's a privilege in so many ways to be able to "give back" to one who has sacrificed all for us. But for those of us who aren't naturally gifted in the care-giving, serving gifts, it can also be particularly difficult...even humanly speaking, distasteful!  For instance,  the need to wash and toilet the person goes against most sensibilities, to be perfectly honest!

Well, this week the Lord met me in the hard-ness of the serving.  As I was helping my precious mom in her embarrassing needs in the restroom, as my back was hurting and the smells and required care were overwelming, as everything within me was yelling, "This is hard," the Voice that I always long to hear broke through.

You are doing this for Me! I am in your mom! So you are serving ME!

Oh wow, Lord! Of course! You said,

As you did it to one of the least of these my brothers [or sisters], you did it to me. (Matthew 25:40 ESV)

You are doing all this to ME!

I was serving HIM! Yes, the King, the Lord, the Master! Wow, what a privilege... not only to serve my darling mama, but in the serving, to be ministering to my Jesus!

As my heart took this all in, I remembered another time, years ago, when I sacrificially served. It was joyful and hard...very hard...in the same way.  But the thing that was especially hard was that I wasn't thanked in any way, though others were.

As I was sitting outside on my porch, "licking my emotional wounds," enjoying the weird "delight" of self-pity ("I can't believe that they didn't even thank me!"), the Voice that I always long to hear broke through,

Well done, good and faithful servant...Enter into the joy of your master. (Matthew 25:23 ESV)

Oh my! I was undone!

HIS "Well Done"  was worth it all! Much better than all of the thank you's and recognition on this earth!

So dear friends, members of the sandwich generation caring for beloved aged ones and moms and dads pouring it out for the beloved young ones and everyone else in between, hear this from the Voice that in reality you too always long to hear,

...as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.

Well done, good and faithful servant...Enter into the joy of your master.

Amen!

Daily Dying for Daily Living

dying to live

I'm dying...little by little...not just physically (aren't we all because we are aging?), but also in many  and various ways. Everyday I die in some way, emotionally, volitionally, relationally, physically, occupationally or... My dreams may die.  My goals may crash to the ground and take me with them.  Right now, I'm going through a bit of that with the death of a vision.

Are you dying too, dear friend?

If you are living on this sin cursed earth, you too are dying every day.

But there's company...and there's hope.  Let's talk about it...

We are in good company.  The apostle Paul died every day.  Listen to his words from Holy Writ:

I die daily...

...always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus...

...we are afflicted in every way,...perplexed,...persecuted,...struck down,...always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus...For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake...So death works in us..." ...that I may know...the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death... (1 Cor 15:14; 2 cor 4:10, 7-11: Phil 3:10 NASB)

And Jesus Himself said,

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone... (John 12:24 NASB)

What is dying?  Death means separation. Physical death is separation of the body from the spirit.

But there are other separations, aren't there?  In the sense we are talking about, there is separation from our our dreams, our desires, our self-life...our self-will, our self-determination, our self-effort, our self-absorption...You get the idea!

death & resurrection

Our self-determined dreams and visions and projects need to die.  And even the God-given ones must be placed on the altar.  Why? So that the Living God can resurrect HIS Life from the deadness of our flesh-tainted existence apart from Him!

And that's our hope. And a great hope it is!

Here's the rest of the story:

...that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. (Phil 3:10-11 NASB)

...always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. (2 Cor 4:10 NASB)

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the lifeof Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you. (2 Cor 4:7-11 NASB)

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. (John 12:24-25 NASB)

Knowing Christ! Touching HIM! That is Life indeed!

Join me, O dying friend, in this prayer of relinquishment:

Dear Lord,  we gladly (though painfully) die, even to our current projects and dreams...that we may know You, Whom to know is life eternal...this day and every day!  We freely turn from our self-determination and self-absorption and joyfully give...

Glory to You Steve Green

What do I possess That You did not give to me? What mysteries are clear to me That You did not explain? When did I share truth I had not received from You? What good works have I performed That You did not ordain?

Chorus Any strength I have Any good I do Comes from the life I found in You So in all I am And in all I do I give the glory to You

How do I express My love and may gratitude? For all I am and ever will be All depends on You Where in the world would I be Had You not reached out to me? All the good I have in life Can all be traced to You

(Chorus)

From the strength to obey Your Word when I hear it To reaching out in love It’s all a gift of the Holy Spirit, Coming from above

(Chorus)

I give the glory to You

Death works in us...Life in you!

LORD, Is it necessary for someone to die in order for another to live?

You should know!  Remember the Cross?

...for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Heb 12:2

Is the joy that another might live?

Is that why as moms we come to "death's door" to birth life into this world?

And is that just a picture of a deeper spiritual reality?

Is that why we need to admit our failures? own our mistakes?  grieve our inabilities?  release our expectations?

And even "take the blows" when misunderstood? mistaken? misjudged?

But You know all that too!  Remember the trials and beating?

 “Do You not answer? What is it that these men are testifying against You?” But Jesus kept silent. Then they spat in His face and beat Him with their fists; and others slapped Him... Matthew 26:62-63,67

But it's so hard to die so that another might live!  So hard to chose love over self-protection and self-justification!

And You know that too, don't You?  Remember Gethsemane?  Remember the Father's will?

And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” ...He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, “My Father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, Your will be done.” Matthew 26:39, 42

Is it so that the healing life of your Risen Self can do its life-giving work in another?

In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety. Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. And having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation... Heb 5:7-9

Now it's my turn, isn't it?  Is that what Paul meant when he said,

Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church...to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Col 1:22,27

May it ever be so in my life also, O my sacrificial, crucified, risen, obedient Savior...only through Your indwelling LIFE!

 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. 2Cor4:6-12

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HE KNOWS...in Every Devastation, Every Stress, Every Loss...

He Knows

If you are suffering today, pause here...He Knows, He has suffered too,  and His promise is comfort...

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.He comforts us in all our troubles... 2 Corinthians 1:3-4a NLT

Take the truth of God's knowledge and watch-care over you deep into your soul.

You are not alone! 

He Knows...

*Thank you, dear Kitty, for sharing this moving song!

What to do when the days are dark and there's no consolation...

wating

Have you played the "waiting game"? Barely a month after our son's cancer surgery, while we were starting to breathe again and recover, our daughter came to me with a suspicious area in her body.  We went to Jeremy's cancer surgeon and, sure enough, a tumor...actually 2 tumors!

Since she was so young at the time and so as to not put her through what could be needless surgery, we played the "waiting game."  We waited to see if the tumors would shrink on their own, thus indicating them to be benign.

Those were a hard two months...waiting, dark, not knowing.

As I was struggling with the the horrific possibility of having two kids with cancer, I asked the Lord one dark, early morning,

"I know you are doing something, Lord, and I don't have to understand it all. But how, as Mom, do I make it through?"

Clear as a bell in the darkness of pre-dawn, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart,

Go to the place where you and I live together and nothing can touch.

That's the place of immunity..the place of peace and safety...though it seems all hell may be breaking loose all around.

It was months later, after Beth's surgery, that the Lord reminded me that there was another Gospel story that speaks to this "waiting game" we all eventually play.

So when your days of dark trial drag on...and there's no comfort...and the heavens are as brass...you've invited Jesus into "your boat" in prayer and so have your brothers and sisters...remember...there's another boat story...yes, there really is...

Another Boat Story

rembrandt, jesus asleep in the boat

As evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.”

So they took Jesus in the boat and started out, leaving the crowds behind (although other boats followed).

But soon a fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the boat, and it began to fill with water.

Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?”

Let's stop here for a moment.  Jesus was asleep at the stern (back) of the boat...now we are talking not down below, but at the surface of the boat...head on a cushion...sleeping as sound as could be...with a storm (a.k.a. windy, wild, dangerous) all around! The disciples are panicked and desperate!

Equally are we shocked and desperate when we are in the midst of the darkest of dark in our lives, and our Lord Christ is silent...asleep, as it were, to our panic and desperation...despite repeated cryings and prayers.

So we too join in,

Lord, don't you care that I'm drowning?

We might ask ourselves, how could Jesus, the man, sleep when all storm-hell was breaking loose all around Him?

Jesus lived in oneness with the Father, and He knew His Father was in control of all things.   So He could rest! He could live from His place of immunity...the place where He lived in union with His Father...and nothing and no one could touch!

And we can too...we can rest in the oneness we have in Christ our Lord.

That being said, let's go back to our story.  Let's see this One in whom we dwell and Who dwells in us...

When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Silence! Be still!”

Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm.

A great calm! Peace!  What we need for our souls, is it not?  Did you notice what He did to bring everything to that state?  He rebuked the wind,

"Quit it, wind!"

And the wind stopped...

Then He said to the waves,

"Hush! Be quiet!"

Then the sea became as glass...

Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

The disciples were absolutely terrified. “Who is this man?” they asked each other. “Even the wind and waves obey him!”

Mark 4:35-41 NLT

And we too often respond the same way, don't we?  As if we are unbelievers!  Where is our faith (Luke 8:25)?  Don't we have any?

Jesus had said just a mustard seed-size faith.

Why? Because it isn't about the size or strength of  our faith.  Rather it's about the Awesome Person, the divine Christ, Lord of heaven and earth and everything in between!

So join me in saying over and over...even out loud...

I rest in You, Jesus!  I rest in You! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Lord!

I can cling to Him, cocoon IN Him, rest down in Him who dwells at total peace in me.

peace be still

As long as He is in the boat, there is Peace, because He Himself is our Peace (Ephesians 2:14).

Thou art the Lord who slept upon the pillow,


Thou art the Lord who soothed the furious sea,


What matters beating wind and tossing billow

If only we are in the boat with Thee?

Hold us quiet through the age-long minute


While Thou art silent and the wind is shrill

Can the boat sink while Thou, dear Lord, are in it;

and the heart faint that waiteth on Thy will?

Amy Carmichael

Under His Wings...the place of Immunity

Psalm 91:4 Under His Wings

When in the deepest of troubles...when there is no consolation or comfort...go to the sacred place where you and the Lord live together and nothing can touch...the place of union with our God through Jesus Christ by faith (Colossians 2:9-10 ESV)...and rest in Him who rests in you (John 17:20-23 ESV)! Hide me in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 17:8b

How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:7

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. Psalm 57:1

Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings!  Selah Psalm 61:4

He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. Psalm 91:4

Jesus' desire:  ...How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not! Matthew 23:37b

chicken with chicks

Inviting Jesus into your stuff...no matter what!

Since our last post, have you been inviting Jesus into YOUR boat...whatever that may be right now? Immediately after realizing that Jesus wanted to be invited into MY boat (my everything), two other familiar Scripture passages came to mind.

I was thankful for this, because I had had the fleeting fear that I might have been too metaphorical with the "boat story."  But the Holy Spirit confirmed His rhema with these passages:

The first was the story of the two grieving disciples on the road to Emmaus on Resurrection Day.  They were discussing the events of the previous days, when a Stranger began walking with them.  This Stranger began explaining from the Scriptures why the Christ had to "suffer these things and enter into His glory."  Let's pick up the story right there...

… And He said to them, “O foolish men and slow of heart to believe in all that the prophets have spoken! “Was it not necessary for the Christ to suffer these things and to enter into His glory?”  Then beginning with Moses and with all the prophets, He explained to them the things concerning Himself in all the Scriptures.

 And they approached the village where they were going, and He acted as though He were going farther.  But they urged Him, saying, “Stay with us, for it is getting toward evening, and the day is now nearly over.” So He went in to stay with them.  When He had reclined at the table with them, He took the bread and blessed it, and breaking it, He began giving it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized Him; and He vanished from their sight. They said to one another, “Were not our hearts burning within us while He was speaking to us on the road, while He was explaining the Scriptures to us?” Luke 24:25- 30

There it was again!  He acted as if He were going on UNTIL they urged Him to stay.  Does that amaze you as it does me?

Then this second passage came to mind:  the letter to the lukewarm church at Laodicea.  This church was so self-sufficient!  They thought they were "all it" and had everything they needed.  But Jesus told them basically, "You don't know how needy and bankrupt you really are!"

Let's read:

To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:The Amen, the faithful and true Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God, says this:  ‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.  So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. ‘Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see.  ‘Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent. ‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. Rev 3:14-22

There it is again..."I'm standing here knocking on your life...and I won't come in UNLESS (if) you open the door (a.k.a. boat).  If you open to me, invite me in, I will come in.  Then we can have intimate fellowship together!"

I know...we usually use this as a salvation verse.  But it isn't primarily that, because it's to the CHURCH at Laodicea...that means believers too!

So then this simple truth dawned upon me:

No matter how old you are in the Lord, Jesus wants to be wanted by YOU!

Now that really blows my mind!  Does it yours?  The Sovereign God, our Lord Christ, wants to be wanted!

Next time, I'll tell you what happened when I began sharing this story.  But in the meantime,...

Invite Him into YOUR boat, dear brothers and sisters! Urge Him to stay! Open the door!

Why? Because the Lord wants us to experience His presence in our life situations: our emotional upheavals, our wounds, disappointments, the lies we’ve believed, our joy & sorrows…everything!  Then we can know that He is truly adequate for everything we may face in this life.

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For Bible students:

Here are some questions to explore:

Look at each of the three passages: the Boat story (Matthew 14:22-33); the road to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-30); and the letter to the church at Laodicea (Rev 3:14-22). [Try to answer the questions right from the texts of Scripture]

1.  Who was responsible for the circumstances in each Scripture passage?

2.  What/Who blinded the believers to the Lord’s presence &/or identity in each passage?

3.  What is the purpose or reason (Why?) for the Lord’s desire to enter into each situation with His people? [You might want to use the composite text from part 1 or Mark 6:51 for the boat story]

Bonus thought question:  Are there some things the Lord will NOT do unless asked?

Take a look at these scriptures: James 4:2 Matthew 7:7-11 Deut 29:29 Is 55:8

What other Scriptures come to mind as you meditate on this question?

Another Back-story: Inviting Jesus into my "Boat"

In my last blog post, I told about how God had prepared me for the suffering that would be coming into the life of my family. This post is the second of two experiences with the Lord that not only shaped how I was able to walk through the health crises of my children, but also future situations of every kind.  I have blogged about this over the past 3+ years, but I would like to share it afresh...with the hopes that you, dear brother or sister, might know the peace of His presence no matter what you may be facing today...and every today!

I call this my Boat Story, or better yet, my Airplane Story...and you'll see why.

It was late summer 1997.  I was preparing for a new school year with my new bunch of preschoolers at Xenia Christian.

I was was going to meetings and doing home visits as a home school coordinator with the Dayton Christian Home School Program (my other part-time job).  As any teacher knows, mid-August can get pretty hairy.

At the same time, my then 70+ year old mom was visiting from NJ. 

Before she was ready to return home, we received a call from my sister Nancy.  She informed us that her husband Ed, who had been battling cancer, suddenly and surprisingly took a turn for the worse.  He was now on life support, but there was little if any hope.

So Nancy and Ed's best friend had to make a terrible decision...if & when to terminate life support.  They chose to stop support at the end of the week.  So I knew that meant a trip to NJ for a funeral.

Now I was totally stressed!  In the midst of everything else that was going on!  Now a flight back east!  I'm ashamed to admit this...but the thing that was stressing me the most by then was the thought of a plane flight!

I know, shame on me...my poor sister!  And here I am freaking out about getting on a plane!

But you see, my previous experiences on planes weren't exactly pleasant...in fact, they were horrifying!  Plus, as a mom, I had developed fears I never had as a single, young adult (can you moms relate?)

I begged and pleaded with my husband to drive me to NJ...but he insisted (and stood his ground), "There's no Time!  You've got to fly!"

So on my way to a home school coordinators meeting that day, I agonized!  But eventually I resigned myself to the fact that when I got home, I'd have to find an economical flight a few days hence (yeah, right)!

All of a sudden, in the midst of my churning thoughts, the still small Voice broke through:  Jesus walks with us on the chaos of our lives!

I recognized this as a quote from Oswald Chambers devotional that I had been reading for years.  Somehow I knew this was significant, a rhema from the Lord.  So I decided to find that familiar story when I got home from the meeting.  I knew that there would be a message from the Lord tucked away in that Scripture.

When I got home, I pulled out my Harmony of the Gospels.*  And as usual, I was not disappointed!  Something I read there absolutely shocked me!  I had never noticed it before...as familiar as this story was and as much of a "Bible scholar" as I deemed myself to be!

I began to read the familiar story of Jesus walking on the water toward His terrified, struggling disciples.

And when it was evening, the boat was in the midst of the sea, and He was alone on the land.  And seeing them straining at the oars, for the wind was against them, at about the fourth watch of the night, He came to them, walking on the sea; and He intended to pass by them.

Wait a minute!  What does that mean...He intended to pass by them? I had never noticed that before...why would He do that?  God doesn't play games!  Why would He walk past?  And would He REALLY...seeing His terrified , struggling disciples?  Wasn't that why He was walking out to them in the first place? Or was it?

I decided to read on...the answer must be there somewhere:

But when they saw Him walking on the sea, they supposed that it was a ghost, and cried out; for they all saw Him and were frightened.  But immediately He spoke with them and said to them, “Take courage; it is I, do not be afraid...”** They were willing therefore to receive him into the boat…

There it was...the Lord Jesus, always the Perfect Gentleman, was waiting to be invited.  (Later I did a word study on this word willing.  It means a "volitional choice"...not just "Well, whatever...")

So I imagined that His struggling disciples, recognizing WHO Jesus was and WHAT He could DO, were more than willing...even desperate...to invite Him into their boat!

And of course, I knew what happened next:

And He got into the boat with them, and the wind stopped; and they were greatly astonished. And those who were in the boat worshiped Him saying, “You are certainly God’s Son!”**

...and immediately the boat was at the land to which they were going. [Composite Text: Mk 6: 47 - 51;  John 6 : 21; Mt 14 : 32 - 33]

Jesus can do that kind of thing because certainly He is God's Son -- the Sovereign, Almighty God in the flesh!

So you may have guessed what happened.  That's right, I began to invite Him into MY boat...every aspect of this situation -- into the purchase of the plane ticket, into the plane:  cockpit, cabin, under the wings, in the engine (Hey! I was desperate!!!).

Then when we were "in flight," it's as if I could SEE the Lord walking up and down the aisle...ministering to the other passengers too!  The Perfect Pilot as well as the Perfect Flight Attendant!

So I arrived at Newark airport without an ounce of anxiety, thanks to my Amazing Traveling Companion.  When I shared the story and my experience with my sister, she invited the Lord into HER boat as a young widow with legal and financial needs.  Immediately, the Lord sent her a lawyer friend to begin to answer some of those very concrete issues for her...gratis!  We were in awe!

When I arrived home, I was "basking in the glow of it all!"  I asked the Lord, "What just happened?  What does it all mean?"  Then the simple truth dawned upon me...

Jesus wants me to invite Him into “my boat” -- my specific life situation, whatever that may be.

Next time we'll look at two other Scripture passages that came to mind.  But right now, I'd like to ask you, dear friend. 

What is the boat you are in right now?   Is it an unhealthy body, emotional upheaval, financial needs, unemployment, the dailiness of raising children, spiritual struggles, anxiety attacks, shame, wayward children, confusion, facing a scarey situation like a plane ride or speaking in public, _______________(you fill in the blank)?

Whatever it may be, invite the Lord into YOUR boat, and watch what HE can do....because He is certainly God's Son!

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*The Harmony is a wonderful book where you can see at a glance all 4 gospels in chronological order.  It's a great way to get all the details of a story, because each of the gospels is side-by-side with the others in columns.

**This is where Peter steps out of the boat.  I left it out for the sake of clarity and brevity.

Read the rest of this PRAYER series

Our Today, a preparation for our Tomorrow? a back-story...

Our TODAY is important...our right here, right now. Why? Because it is the place where we encounter God...right here, right now, in our Today!  And none of us is promised another Today...

BUT...

...if we are, by God's grace, given other Todays, our Today may be a preparation for another Today...and another...and another...

And they may form the back-story of some of our most difficult days, weeks, months, even years.

Let me illustrate...

After 1998, the infamous year of crises with our children's health -- Jeremy's cancer and Beth's cancer scare -- I started to realize that the Lord had taken me through some experiences with Him that were lessons I would need, not just for my Today, but for the days of trial that, unbeknownst to me (but of course known to HIM), were up ahead.  One such experience I call my Supper Story, or better, my Breakfast Story, and you'll see why.

Back in spring 1997, I was teaching through the Gospel of John in a Precept study.  One particular week, I was preparing a lesson in the familiar passage in John, chapter 13, the story of Jesus washing the disciples' feet.

That week I also happened to have a breakfast date with a dear friend of mine who lives out on a farm in New Carlisle, OH.  Our usual breakfast place was a fun, local-color place called Sam & Ethels up in Tipp City.

So that lovely spring morning, as I was driving north through the country roads to pick up her up, I was meditating on John 13 (and perhaps listening to it on CD in my car-- I can't remember).  But as I reflected on the story, I began to notice, as if for the first time,  Christ's interaction with the apostle Peter...how I love that brother!  He is so out there...in this passage, even refusing to let Jesus wash his feet, yow!  What is that about?

Well, just see for yourself..

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God, got up from supper, and laid aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself.

Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.

So He came to Simon Peter. He said to Him, “Lord, do You wash my feet?” Jesus answered and said to him, “What I do you do not realize now, but you will understand hereafter.”

Peter said to Him, “Never shall You wash my feet!”

Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.”

Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, then wash not only my feet, but also my hands and my head.”

Jesus said to him, “He who has bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean...

So when He had washed their feet, and taken His garments and reclined at the table again, He said to them,

“Do you know what I have done to you? You call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am.

If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.

Truly, truly, I say to you, a slave is not greater than his master, nor is one who is sent greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them...

Now here was the clincher for me...

Truly, truly, I say to you, he who receives whomever I send receives Me; and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me.”

Wait a minute...if I don't wash you, you have no part with Me...whomever I send receives Me...and Him who sent Me!

The Holy Spirit began to speak to my heart,

Jan, you need to not only wash your bothers' and sisters' feet, but you also need to graciously let them wash YOUR feet.  Otherwise, you may be missing what I want to do for you through your brother or sister.

Oh my!  That was a lesson I needed, because I had a tendency to always be doing the giving...maybe it was having been in leadership, maybe it's my type A personality, maybe it's pride. But the Lord was telling me to let my feet be washed  and graciously receive it as HIM!

So I continued driving, picked up my friend and arrived at Sam & Ethel's.  As we sat in that quaint little restaurant and opened our menus, my friend said to me,

Today, I'm paying the bill!

Now I have to tell you that this precious sister does not have much extra cash. And so when she said that, I began to think of how she was probably using some birthday money or such at great sacrifice to herself.  I was ready to protest, when the Lord said to me,

Don't be like Peter...receive this as a gift from Me!  Let her wash your feet!

And so I did!

And this wonderful experience of the Serving Christ, that spring day in 1997, prepared me to receive in multitudinous ways from brothers and sisters in our time of suffering, just 9 months later.  I was able to receive Christ's washing in the form of meals, notes, scriptures, advice (yes, even unsolicited advice), house cleaning, the presence of "strangers," and of course, prayer, prayer, and more prayer!

And so, dear brothers and sisters, siblings in the family of God, could you too be missing out on Christ meeting you and ministering to you in your specific need in your today by not being willing to let your feet be washed?  Think about it!

On other side, has the Lord been moving you to wash someone's feet in a specific way, but you've been holding back thinking it's not a big deal?  It IS a big deal...Jesus wants to serve your brother or sister through YOU!  Yield to Him and just do it!

Because...

We are His Hands

We are His hands We are His feet We are His people Children of the Lord We share the hope We share the dream Believers in Jesus Children of the King His Spirit lives within us Flowing like a river Filling us with strength So that we can reach out for our brother Help one another Some of us build, some are teachers Some can sing like angels But all of us can love Like He loved, pure and simple So warm and gentle

[youtuber youtube='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=em-Qzmo19t8']

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You might also like to look at the "one another" verses

And the fun back-story at Am I my Brothers' Keeper?  Stories about the crazy boys at right, my darling grandsons...

The Surprise of Suffering

Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through,as if something strange were happening to you. 1 Peter 4:12 NLT

Well, surprised is an understatement when it comes to what we all experienced in our family when our then 20 year old son was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.  Our Jeremy had always been athletic, healthy, happy, strong! How could this be happening to him? ...to us?

And as every mom, I began the usual Examining of the Mom Conscience:

How did I not protect him from this? I've been doing more than most in keeping our environment clean of toxic chemicals.

I should have been more perfect with our food.

Have I delved too deeply into alternative medicine?  Punishment?

And on and on...ad infinitum, ad nauseum... To the point of agony.

Then the precious words of our Lord,

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33 NLT

In Him, peace...on earth, trials and sorrows.

So the question is not Why me, why my son? but rather why NOT me, why not my son?

Over the succeeding months, as we walked out that terrible/glorious year, the Lord reminded me of what He had said through the apostle Paul,

18 Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. 19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. 20 Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, 21 the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. 22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. 24 We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters... Romans 8:18-27 NLT

Did you notice all the groanings?  That's right, all creation, we believers (actually all humans also), and hold on...the HOLY SPIRIT...Eternal God, indwelling us, praying for us and in us according to the will of God...deep, deep! Oh glory!  What comfort!  Why?

Our situation is not a surprise to our indwelling God.  In fact, the Son of God entered our groaning world and became a Groaning One along with us, so...

Our suffering is not a surprise to HIM...listen to His groaning the night before He died:

While he lived on earth, anticipating death, Jesus cried out in pain and wept in sorrow as he offered up priestly prayers to God. Because he honored God, God answered him. Though he was God’s Son, he learned trusting-obedience by what he suffered, just as we do. Then, having arrived at the full stature of his maturity... he became the source of eternal salvation to all who believingly obey him. Hebrews 5:7-10 MSG

And so no matter what we are going through, our Jesus, through His indwelling Spirit, groans it out with us.  And because He is God Almighty, He can take hold of us (Hebrews 2:16) when we run to Him in our darkness of darkness.  He's been through it all:

Therefore, it was necessary for him to be made in every respect like us, his brothers and sisters, so that he could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. Then he could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people. Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help [run to the cry of] us when we are being tested. Hebrews 2:17-18 NLT

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:15-16 NLT

[youtuber youtube='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPXapfFfesA']

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To read about Jeremy, 15 years cancer free in 2013 by the grace of God, click here.

Walking with Jesus through Trials...

walking with Jesus

I'm beginning a Bible study with a new group this week.  It's a study the Lord gave me back at the end of 1998...the end of a terrible/glorious year in the life of our family.

It was terrible because the life of our young adult son was greatly at risk with the "C" word and our teen daughter's life was threatened by that same horrible word.

But it was also a glorious year because of the almost tangible, manifest Presence of our glorious Lord and His merciful, glorious work on behalf of this mama and her babies. The impact of the Lord's Presence in those darkest of times and the lessons learned in the depth of the pain continue to mold who I am.

walking with Jesus in trials

Now I am no expert in walking through trials, but I know the One who is...and you do too if you know Him by faith.  He lives IN you and THROUGH you, as you, and you can trust Him.  The cool thing is HE is the Expert -- the One who has walked out every trial, testing and temptation perfectly in union with His Father.  So that gives us great hope. Why? Because...

..He can whisper into your soul, as He did mine,  the life-giving words that can keep you walking upright even in your most desperate of times.

So in the coming posts, I'd like to share some of our story and what the Lord did and taught this mama, at a particular time, in a particular place, with a particular son and a particular daughter, both most precious indeed!

All in the hopes that you too will be encouraged to walk with the One who walks with you through everything this world can throw at you because...

NOTHING is beyond HIM!

Based on Psalm 139

Where could I go, where could I runEven if I found the strength to flyAnd if I rose on the wings of the dawnAnd crashed through the corner of the sky

If I sailed past the edge of the seaEven if I made my bed in HellStill there You would find me

'Cause nothing is beyond YouYou stand beyond the reachOf our vain imaginationsOur misguided piety

The heavens stretch to hold YouAnd deep cries out to deepSaying that nothing is beyond YouNothing is beyond You

Time cannot contain YouYou fill eternitySin can never stain YouDeath has lost its sting

And I cannot explain the way You came to love meExcept to say that nothing is beyond YouNothing is beyond You

If I should shrink back from the lightSo I can sink into the darkIf I take cover and I close my eyesEven then You would see my heart

And You'd cut through all my pain and rageThe darkness is not dark to YouAnd night's as bright as day

Nothing is beyond YouYou stand beyond the reachOf our vain imaginationsOur misguided piety

The heavens stretch to hold YouAnd deep cries out to deepSaying that nothing is beyond YouNothing is beyond You

And time cannot contain YouYou fill eternitySin can never stain YouAnd death has lost its sting

And I cannot explain the way You came to love meExcept to say that nothing is beyond YouNothing is beyond YouNothing is beyond You

be ye glad...oh yes!

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.John 16:33 ESV

As we were beginning worship one morning at church, I was arrested by the beauty and the message of a song I hadn't heard or sung for many years.

Those of us who were young adults during the of the late 60s into the 70s and 80s may remember "Be Ye Glad" as a peaceful balm to our souls. So when those opening words and melody penetrated my consciousness, I had to stop and reflect on every word.

In light of all the upheaval in the world, along with the upheavals in your own world, why not take a few moments and listen, reflect on the message, and even sing along. But mostly, praise our Lord God Jesus Christ who is on His throne...He has overcome the world and your world...so peace, my brother & sister...BE GLAD, He has paid it all!

BE YE GLAD

In these days of confused situations.
In these nights of a restless remorse,
When the heart and the soul of the nation, lay wounded and cold as a corpse.
From the grave of the innocent Adam, comes a song bringing joy to the sad.
Oh your cry has been heard and the ransom, has been paid up in full, Be Ye Glad.

(Chorus)

Oh, Be Ye Glad,
Be Ye Glad,
Every debt that you ever had
Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord,
Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad.

From the dungeon a rumor is stirring.
You have heard it again and again.
But this time the cell keys are turning, and outside there are faces of friends.
And though your body lay weary from wasting, and your eyes show the sorrow they've had.
Oh the love that your heart is now tasting has opened the gate,
Be Ye Glad.

(Chorus)

So be like lights on the rim of the water, giving hope in a storm sea of night.
Be a refuge amidst the slaughter, for these fugitives in their flight.
For you are timeless and part of a puzzle.
You are winsome and young as a lad.
And there is no disease or no struggle, that can pull you from God,
Be Ye Glad.

(Chorus)

Words and Music by M.K.Blanchard © Gotz Music/Benson

I emailed the writer Michael Blanchard about the back-story to "Be Ye Glad."  Be blessed and encouraged as you read Michael's explanation of the imagery in the lyrics.

I wrote Be Ye Glad for my 1980 release LOVE LIVES ON...I wrote the tune during the Iranian hostage crisis of the late 70's and so many of the images in the lyrics were originally derived from that. The concept of Grace received and then, in response to that free gift, being given out to others, has always resonated in me as the heart and central delight of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Love so much larger than our theological constructs and conditions. So much kinder then our hearts can imagine. mkb

For an interesting article about this and other songs from the Jesus Movement years and after, see:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/anxiousbench/2012/07/be-ye-glad-christian-music-in-the-1980s/

Stripped Bare? Why me?

I am the true Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser.  Every branch in Me...that bears fruit, He prunes it, that it may bear more fruit. John 15:1,2

From what I understand, important to the process of growing grapes is pruning the vine.  Now I am definitely not a gardener!  So if I have ever pruned anything, I've done a very wimpy job of it.

I was shocked a few years ago when we visited a vineyard in Temecula Valley, CA.  John & I had traveled there to help our daughter and son-in-law move into the house they were renting at the time.  I told Beth I'd like to see a real grape vineyard "in person" because of John 15 and my blog.  So off we went!

A Pruned Branch 138_5713

Now in my mind I was thinking at least green and lush...after all, this was Southern California and tulips and flowering trees were blooming.  But NO!  What I saw was vine after vine with absolutely NOTHING on them.  I could just barely see little stubs attached.  Those were the branches!

Oh my!  Talk about instant spiritual lesson!  Have you ever felt like a little stub of a branch, stripped bare?  Over the course of my sixty-plus years, I have many a time.

One of the times that was most painful was when we first moved to Ohio about 30 years ago.  That was at a time when I didn't really know the unconditional love of my Father-God apart from my performance.  I was trying to earn his love and acceptance by doing all the Christian stuff.  (I was trying to earn what, in reality, I already had).

My health was breaking because of strange reactions to chemicals, molds, foods, and who knows what else.  Since there was little understanding in the traditional medical community at that time, I was deemed a hypochondriac who needed anti-depressants.  It was then that I started into anxiety/panic attacks.  My doctor put me on Xanax.  It helped me sleep, but I still had the reactions and the panic attacks.

This was a huge blow to me as a Christian working for my sanctification.  But the Lord was pruning me, freeing me from my performance addiction and attaching me to Himself alone as my support and deliverance.  Since the only Scriptures that made sense to me during that time were the Psalms, God spoke to me there:

When I am afraid, I will trust in You.  In God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. Psalm 56:3,4

First of all He said to me, "When you are afraid..."  not  "Shame on you for being afraid...".  That was freeing because I lived with such self-condemnation because of the attacks.

Then the Lord said, "Use those first inklings of panic as a signal to turn your attention to Me and trust me."  So those panic attacks started to become a "place of worship" for me.  Previously when I was in the car driving with my two young children in the back seat and I started into an attack, I'd make it worse by freaking out that I was going to kill my kids.  After the Lord gave me my signal, I would instead focus on Him praising and trusting in my Deliverer. ("We become like what we focus on" is a spiritual principle...but that's for another blog).

Little by little, as I turned to the Lord each time the panic started, deliverance came.  My allergies and sensitivities continued to get worse.  Some still continue to this day.  But the panic is gone.  I've come to know and trust my God on a deeper level than ever before.  And  I've come to know His unconditional love, which is a greater treasure than perfect health.

I have met many women who suffer from anxiety/panic attacks.  Why?  Probably for each one there is a unique physical, emotional, or even spiritual reason.  The one thing I know is that God can use it to deepen a woman's dependence and trust in her Father-God.  It can truly be a "Key to the Kingdom."

Me & my Branch 138_5714

I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:3

My son [daughter], do not regard lightly the discipline [pruning] of the Lord...for those whom the Lord loves He disciplines [prunes]...All discipline [pruning] for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet...afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Hebrews 12:5,6,11

Disappointment...

disappointed

We all experience it...from the day we are born until the day we die!  Disappointment! Unmet needs, unfulfilled expectations, failed relationships, frustrated goals, and on and on...Disappointment!

Here is a little gem of a quote.  I found it on a little card tucked way down in the bottom of a manila folder, and it says it well:

Disappointment:

God's way of dimming the glamour of the world and deepening our ability to enjoy Him.* Psalm 119:37

Think about it!  Has this been your experience? It has mine. Years ago, when my health was breaking...and there were no answers...and there was no one to believe me -- not my doctors, not my loved ones -- that's when I found the Lord in the deepest part of my being.

Now I thank God for that very dark time...because I was abandoned to HIM!  And I've never been the same.

Maybe you are facing deep disappointment right now.  Turn your eyes away from the external things.  Instead turn your attention to the Lover of your soul -- enjoy HIM as you never have before!

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace Comfort for family, protection while we sleep We pray for healing, for prosperity We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while You hear each spoken need Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears? And what if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near?

And what if trials of this life Are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win We know that pain reminds this heart That this is not, this is not our home It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears? And what if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments Or the aching of this life Is the revealing of a greater thirst This world can't satisfy?

And what if trials of this life The rain, the storms, the hardest nights Are Your mercies in disguise?

*Bill Gothard

disappointment-his-app

Prayer: WHY Pray?

WHY?  But WHY?  Often this is the most confusing and heart-rending of all questions. Why?  Because it is very often unaswerable...and that's the rub!  Why represents our helplessness in the face of life in a fallen world, doesn't it?

The last question in our study begins with this word, Why?

Why does the Lord want to be invited into our "stuff?"

 Despite the dilemmas that this word often represents, there's no dilemma here.  And it's all because of one little word -- a beautiful, wonderful word!  And the same word is found in each of our three stories.  Let's take a look:

1.  The Boat Story Prayer

When the disciples realized who Jesus was, as He was ready to walk past, they received Him willingly into their boat.  Then the Bible says,

He got into the boat with them. Mark 6:51

And then, of course, He calmed the storm and took them to the shore.

2.  The Road to Emmaus

When Jesus was ready to keep on walking, the disciples urged Him, saying,

Stay with us...So He went in to stay with them. Luke 24:29

3.  Jesus Knocking

Jesus pointed out how miserable, poor, and naked the self-sufficient Laodician believers were.  But then He told them whoever opens the door to His knocking,

I will come in to him and will dine with him and he with ME. Rev 3:20

Did you see it? with!

Oh that wonderful word, with!**  How I love it!  What that little word says to my heart is that Jesus wants me to experience Him with me at all times, in every situation.

That makes me think of my mother-in-law, who is in a retirement community.  In recent years, she has had to move into increasing levels of care.  Despite the excellent care and the loving attitudes of the staff, the residents there are often lonely, truly needy, and pathetic* (in the truest sense of the word).

It's hard to go visit!  When we go, we can't help but see many searching, "hungry" eyes...looking for someone to just be with them!  And when I take my young grandsons there, many of the "seemingly dead-inside-people" come alive!

Friends, we are all, in reality, needy, weak, lonely, and pathetic*...but Jesus loves us anyway.  He wants to be with us in our stuff!  Are you experiencing the intimate with-ness of your Savior in your life and circumstances today?  Invite Him!  Urge (desire) Him!  Open to Him!  He's there!

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Further study and meditation:

Do you ever feel like the Lord is asleep in your boat?  He's in the situation, but He's silent.  You are playing the waiting game!

Take a look at another boat story in Mark 4:35-41.

Though you may be going through what feels like the "Dark Night of the Soul," find comfort...He's there and in control.  (And remember God's timing is perfect...as it was on the road to Emmaus!)

Thou art the Lord who slept upon the pillow, Thou art the Lord who soothed the furious sea, What matters beating wind and tossing billow If only we are in the boat with Thee?

Hold us quiet through the age-long minute While Thou art silent and the wind is shrill : Can the boat sink while Thou, dear Lord, are in it; Can the heart faint that waiteth on Thy will?” — Amy Carmichael

*pa·thet·ic/pəˈTHetik/  Adjective:  Arousing pity, esp. through vulnerability or sadness.  Miserably inadequate. Synonyms:  touching - piteous - moving - pitiful - pitiable

**for the 3 Greek words translated with see "Caught in the Web."  Each has varying degrees of closeness.