Surrendering to the Will of Another: my recent hospital stay

It all started a week ago. At first it seemed to be a severe cold compounded by allergies. But it was continually morphing throughout the week. I cancelled everything I could to rest and recover. Our two oldest grandsons would be graduating soon, though a week apart in different states, and we had plans to be at both.

Our two graduating seniors, Kaden and evan

A few days after the first graduation in a large university arena, my symptoms began to get more serious. And so here I was laying on a hospital bed in the ER. I was a bit stunned. I thought to myself, “I have never been admitted to a hospital since delivering my babies.”

As I waited for testing and diagnosis to begin, I heard the Lord,

Now, Jan, you are not in control of this at all. Surrender to the process … to each person you encounter, as they care for you. I’m here. It’s ok. And then you can respond with My love.

Perfect peace rested on me. It was ok. And God’s peace continued through it all, including diagnosis of bronchopneumonia, through the IV antibiotic treatments, through the bed rest in my hospital room, and now at home on multiple meds.

And it’s ok. The Prince of Peace is here. And it even looks like we will make it for our second graduation. Praise You, Jesus.

When I received the Lord’s word “Surrender,” I remembered my dear friend and co-author Penny’s story of Surrender. So this is Penny in her own words, an excerpt from our book Glory in Disguise.

Penny and Jan

Penny’s Pictures: Surrendering to His Sovereignty

…Just before Christmas 2020, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I wasn’t devastated but I was truly surprised. So, in the new year I wasn’t sure how the year would unfold. I asked the Lord,

“How will I figure it all out?”

The answer I heard? “Surrender.”

But what does surrender look like? These are the three images that came to mind:

The first was a person with hands raised in the air. Like in a cowboy movie. ‘Stick ‘em up!’ Surrender.

The second was on a battle field, a soldier flying a white flag. Surrender.

The third was a person laying down their weapon. Surrender.”

Those three images were very defeatist. Depressing. Especially after receiving the diagnosis of cancer.

Then I felt the Lord urge me to take a closer look.

As I zeroed in I saw that I was the one with hands raised. But I wasn’t surrendering to the enemy. I was raising my hands in worship to God. I was surrendering in worship to the Father. My Father in Heaven. He has the big picture. He saw this cancer coming and knows what to do with it. I can trust Him never to leave me or forsake me. I lift my hands in worship to Him.

In the second image I held a flag but not a flag of surrender to the enemy. The flag was to signify the presence of my king. Our British friend Julie once told us that when the King was in residence, they flew his flag over the castle. I realized the flag meant the Holy Spirit was present in me. That flag acknowledges the presence of the Holy Spirit. My counselor, my comforter. When I acknowledge His presence in me, I have that peace that goes beyond understanding. 

In the third image I lay down my weapons, not in defeat but in understanding that I don’t have the weapons to fight this battle. This battle belongs to Jesus. He is my healer. He is the warrior. I lay down my human weapons and trust Jesus to lead me down the right path of healing through this battle. 

My part in this was to worship the Father, to acknowledge the Holy Spirit and to trust Jesus. To surrender.

There were times through this process that weren’t fun. Times it was uncomfortable. Times I had to do things I didn’t want to do. But it helped knowing I wasn’t the one in charge. I had already made the decision to surrender, to trust Jesus. I knew if He truly didn’t want me to do what the doctors were suggesting He would give me that feeling of “no, no, no!”. But all I heard was, “Trust Me. I’m right here with you!” 

I am now finished with my treatment. I’ve had chemotherapy, surgery and radiation. Along the way I’ve met many people who have had a much more difficult time in treatment than I have. I don’t mean to make light of having cancer. And I know that if my outcome had been different that God would still be good! I have had many friends and loved ones praying for me. I am so thankful for their support. I am truly grateful for this experience. It has shown me another layer of trusting God and knowing Jesus is with me. There is such freedom in surrendering to Him.

My Surrender
When I am alone
You are my befriender.
In the heat of battle
You are my defender.
To my broken heart
You are the mender.
I need never be
a pretender,
Because all to You
I surrender.
            Penny Mandeville

Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for loving me and always going before me.  You know what’s ahead for me. I worship you with all my heart.
Holy Spirit, thank You for always being with me. Help me to remember to acknowledge Your presence. I praise You.
Precious Jesus, thank You for always being my protector and leading me down the right path. I know I can trust You. I love You! I surrender all to You. Amen.

Reflections
1. Can you think of a time when you had to blindly trust Jesus and surrender to Him the process and the outcome?

2. Are you now going through a situation you must surrender to Him? It can be very hard to do, but I encourage you to do so. There is so much freedom in surrendering to Him. You can trust Him because He cares for you.